Do you want some cheeeeese with that WHINE?

Yes I’m going to WHINE. I was just reading about another friend whose daughter is going to have her first birthday party in a couple of weeks. It started me thinking about Thomas’ first birthday coming up in oh…2 months (yes…I know…that’s still a little while away).

I do this thing where I make a 3-D Teddy Bear cake just for the birthday boy and set it in front of him and let him tear into it.

Matthew's 1st birthday

It’s just small enough for a little guy to do some serious damage. And it’s incredibly adorable. I’m now coming to the realization that I may not get the pleasure of watching Thomas do this for his 1st birthday. And my heart hurts.

I know I just need to get over myself. He’s not going to do things when the others do them. It’s one of the harder things about being a member of the sorority that is the Stepford Moms. We’re mostly made up of moms of babies who were due in March 2007. It’s been a wonderful source for me. For friendship, for inspiration, for laughter. But also now for tears. It is sometimes difficult to watch from the sidelines while the others just pass you by. To rejoice watching a friends little one taking their first steps all the while not knowing if your little one will ever be able even crawl. In my heart I believe he will do these things eventually. I have to believe. It’s hope. Until some of these tests come back with answers, it’s all I’ve got.